This story is not a new one. It took place many, many years ago, in December of 2005. It was not long after the launch of the original X-Box 360, but before the whole "red ring of death" became a common issue. I was at work, in my department, when I received a call from the store's returns desk. The employee there asked me to come up there to inspect a system a customer wanted to return. It was less than a month after the system had launched, so I wasn't sure I would be able to identify the problem, if it was something that could be fixed, or if it was something that would have to go back to Microsoft. Since it was my job, though, I went up there anyway.
Now, it's important at this point that I emphasize this was less than a month after the system had launched. There were only two models available: the X-Box 360 Core (which had no hard drive) and the regular X-Box 360 (which came with a 20GB hard drive). The Core came in a green box, and the regular in a white one. The systems themselves, however, looked identical otherwise.
Imagine my surprise when I got up there and opened up the customer's nice white box. One glance was all it took for me to identify the problem. The system wasn't white.
It had been spray painted. Silver.
With that I politely informed him we would not be able to return his system because it had been modified. This is when he, of course, grew angry. He insisted that he "had to" mod it, because it had been running slow. I made a confused face at this point. What did its speed have to do with the fact that it was the wrong color? Curious, I lifted it out of the box and looked at the back. For those who don't know, video game consoles have a warranty seal. Typically it's a sticker placed over a seam on the system somewhere that makes it obvious if you break it. For Microsoft, they put it over a seam so you can't open the system casing without breaking that sticker. Playstation 3 had a silver foil sticker that would peel and leave behind the foil if it was broken, making it just as obvious if it had been tampered with. I cocked my head to the side a bit, and he continued on, explaining that because it had been running slow, he'd cracked the case open and soldered on a spare PC processor he had laying around to try and make it run faster.
I'm sure at this point even those not tech-savvy recognize the sheer idiocy of such an action. As if putting the engine of a Ford pickup on a motorcycle would work. For those who are even the slightest tech-savvy, however, I'm certain your reaction was similar to mine. I was so utterly struck dumb by his explanation I think my brain actually stalled out for several long moments. Moments I spent staring at him incredulously.
I tried explaining that cracking the case broke the warranty seal, voiding the manufacturers warranty and rendering the system untouchable by a retail store. I continued, telling him we were actually prohibited from accepting units for return if the warranty seal had been voided. He, of course, didn't accept that and immediately demanded a manager.
Fortunately for me, the store's Assistant manager was nearby and he came over to ask what was going on. The man explained the entire situation from the beginning, and the ASM won bonus points in my book for his response. He listened, calmly and patiently, to the man's demented ramblings, leaned over and took one look at the glistening silver system inside its box, and began to laugh. When the man angrily asked what was so funny, the ASM said there was "no way in Hell we're taking that back when you've turned it into a shiny plastic brick. Good luck suckering someone into taking it off your hands."
Needless to say, that didn't go over very well. For once, though, the ASM stuck to his guns and in a remarkable display of maturity informed him he could calm down, stop swearing and leave the store voluntarily, or he could continue to make a scene and act like a fool, in which case he'd get himself arrested. So the man took his shiny plastic brick and stormed out. Most times management will side with the customer to make them happy and prevent them from making a scene. In this instance, however, that didn't happen, nor should it have happened. This customer was in the wrong. He'd voided his warranty and damaged his own property, then expected us to fix it for him.
Whenever people like this get denied, I feel like somewhere a happy little retail fairy finally gets its wings.
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