When working in retail, one finds joy wherever, whenever, and however one can. It's a soul-sucking job where people are regularly treated by both customers and employers as expendable, replaceable, or simply not worth it. As a result, it breeds a bitter contempt that is difficult to overcome. In my case that contempt manifested as self-satisfaction in saying "no".
The customer is always right. This is an adage that has been drilled into our collective consumer consciousness, so as a long-suffering retail employee, I took a great deal of perverse pleasure in finding ways to prove that not only were the customers wrong, but they were actually jerks who deserved nothing. I took it upon myself to make it as difficult as possible for these people to get away with whatever they were whining about.
No, we will not accept this item for return.
No, we will not make an exception to our policies for you because you screamed about it.
No, you can't get what you want just because you want it.
Any time I could get away with saying no to people like that, I would take great pleasure in doing so. All too often I would be shoehorned into saying "yes" because store policies were designed to protect the company. Any time policy was in my favor, I used it, but only on those being odious, obnoxious, hostile, or outright lying to try to get away with whatever they wanted.
As an example, one night I was working the customer service desk when a I had a customer come in all pissed off because the night before his "girlfriend" had come in and returned stuff. The cashier who'd processed the transaction had given her store credit, as policy stated that returns without receipt will only qualify for store credit and that they are at the store's discretion. His problem?
He'd wanted cash.
The cashier he was arguing with calmly and patiently explained that there was nothing that could be done. Not only was it store policy to only give store credit on returns without a receipt, but the transaction was from a previous day. There was literally no way to void it at that point. He adamantly refused to accept that as an answer, even after I stepped in to back up my fellow cashier. Even the assistant manager became involved, and we all told him the same thing. There was nothing we could do.
He proceeded to lose his mind, screaming and yelling, carrying on, and generally making an ass of himself insisting we had to cancel the transaction. Meanwhile, another customer came in to return a generator power transfer kit. I went back to my register and knew within seconds this would be another denial. Not only did she not have a receipt, but it was a brand and model the store had never carried. In fact, it was actually one that belonged exclusively to our direct competitor. She was adamant she'd bought it in our store despite evidence to the contrary, and insisted on a manager.
I grinned, turned to the manager who was still standing right next to me, and told him another customer wanted to speak with him. He took one look at the product and started laughing. She was getting obviously agitated, and when he finally calmed down he apologized for laughing at her and then calmly explained that what she had was not a return we would be doing. At that point, Mr. Slim Shady at the register next to us started screaming nonsense about racial profiling (point of reference: he was white, the manager was white, I'm white, and the other cashier was also white). My manager turned to him, still chuckling, and told him to keep going because he hadn't laughed this much in years. The customer trying to return the competitor item got indignant and he finally told them both we wouldn't be helping either of them, and to have a pleasant day.
Then he walked off, still chuckling.
Both of these idiots looked at me and my fellow cashier as if there was still something to talk about. I simply looked the woman straight in the eyes, said "Sorry we can't help you. Have a great day. Next, please!"
That was the icing on an otherwise lackluster day.