On an otherwise normal day, a young man sat in his truck in a parking lot as it filled with carbon monoxide , waiting to die. For some reason he had second thoughts and got out of his truck. Then, after a message from his girlfriend, he got back in. The tragic suicide of Conrad Roy III in Massachusetts is one that shocked me when I read about it. Not because he suffered from depression and had suicidal thoughts. As much as it hurts to say so, the presence of those in a teenager is not surprising to me. I, too, suffer from depression, and have for all my life though I didn't understand what it was when I was a teen. As someone with personal experience, I have an understanding of how it changes one's thought processes that those who don't might not. No, what shocked me was the implication that, after having second thoughts about committing suicide, he told his girlfriend who then told him to get back in.
When one is in the throes of depression, sometimes all it takes is a single person's support to pull you out. This is not always the case, nor is it always effective, but there are enough instances of a single person's outreach preventing a suicide. Sometimes a random act of kindness by a stranger will be enough, but most times it comes in the form of love and support from a close friend, relative, or loved one. Those who are in relationships with people who have depression can learn to recognize the signs and help prevent them from becoming a downward spiral. As someone who allegedly loved him enough to date him, one would think she would have provided support. Instead she essentially ordered him to his death. She used her position as someone he loved and cared for, and twisted that against him to encourage him back into the truck.
Michelle Carter, the girlfriend, was sent to jail. She applied for parole, and was denied. She was denied because the parole board thought she lacked sincerity. Reading it, I could only think this was a good thing. Not that she lacked sincerity, but that she would not be released early from prison simply because she managed to talk her way out of what she had done. She directly encouraged the suicide of her own boyfriend. It does not matter to me whether it was meant as a joke, or if it was done without malice. She had an opportunity to save the life of someone she loved and instead encouraged him to kill himself. That does not speak of love to me. Nor does it speak of sanity.
What kind of person would encourage another to kill him- or herself?
Not someone who I feel is safe to be walking free until her own mental issues are diagnosed and treated. Her behavior cost someone's life. Is she culpable? Yes. Does she feel remorse for that decision? Not so far as I can see. It isn't quite cartoon-villain level evil; she isn't laughing and happy dancing on her dead boyfriend's grave. There isn't even any kind of vague justification wrapped around it; he wasn't beating her or abusing her in their relationship. So far as anyone can tell, she simply told him that if he was going to kill himself, he might as well get on with it then. That if he wasn't going to, he should shut up about it. And then, when he decided not to, she used her position as a person of trust to force him back in with three little words.
Get back in.